Ivy League Scientists Are Trying To Recreate Dinosaurs, Only Way More Freakish

Ivy League Scientists Are Trying To Recreate Dinosaurs, Only Way More Freakish

Jack Horner is a well-known paleontologist but more famously known for being a consultant on all four Jurassic Park films. That’s right, even the awful Part 3. But movie magic isn’t what Horner is interested in these days. He’s looking to recreate living dinosaurs in around 5 to 10 years if science is willing to cooperate. WOW, that sounds really awesome! I wanna go to Jurassic Park too!

Hold on, not so fast. Horner and his team comprised of well-to-do’s from Harvard and Yale are teaming up to get the job done, only it’s not exactly the same method you might recall from the movies and certainly not with dino DNA. This is more of an Island of Dr. Moreau type situation.

Horner looking intently.

Okay, so what the hell is he going to do to recreate dinosaurs? Well, Horner has one other creature in mind to get the job started. Chickens. In what sounds like a 1950’s B-movie plot gone bad, Horner said “So we just need [chickens] to fix them so they look a little more like a dinosaur.” To fix them so they look a little more like a dinosaur?

If the Jurassic Park movies have taught us anything, it’s that recreating dinosaurs is clearly a bad idea. However, restructuring chickens so they kinda sorta become dinosaurs sounds like a really bad idea that Lloyd Kaufman might be interested in. But hey, I’m down to see what the hell such a sad creature would look like if someone’s apparently paying for these experiments.

Horner has already given the name to this amazing creature: The Chickensaurus. Where were you on THAT one, Michael Crichton.

Horner says the only characteristics separating the chicken from dinosaurs similar to it (much like the Indominus Rex from Jurassic World) are tails, arms and hands. Horner says he has already figured out how to turn a chicken’s beak back into it’s more ancestral form. He then added “The wings and hands are not as difficult. We’re pretty sure we can do that soon.”

So, um, look for The Chickensaurus at a zoo near you, kids! I certainly hope it’ll be worth the 10 year wait.

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